What is going on?

I am lost in maze. I have nothing much left. I feel intoxicated. High in drugs without any consumption. This is what actually is going on. It is not that easy to smile. The way you smile looks much more easier. I complain on my hormones and period cycle. I try not to think about you entire month. But there you are boom,  in my head by the end of the month. There comes my premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and lots of thoughts. It make me hang around feeling exhausted like a pendulum. My watch is no more going to clock you in. You are no more there in my time. Your world is somewhere far away,  thousand of miles from where I am. I wonder why do I miss you. I think about what are the possible  reasons. I come to conclusion that I miss us, not you. I miss my peace of mind. The way you make me feel comfortable and give me shoulder to lay my head and heavy heart. I miss your guidance and presence. XOXO