World of Srijana

I have no tears for you. How mean and rude have I  turned into. I couldn't shed a drop of tears on your permanent loss. This is not who I used to be. I have changed and changed a lot. You will always be the part of me that I lost badly. I couldn't stay committed to you. I broke my promise and torn your heart. I made your pieces and let you flow. I couldn't even  grieved. It is becoming hard for me. I have started faking everything lately. My smile is fake, my laugh is fake. I don't want to fake a pain. I loved you. I am best at breaking heart. This time it was not only breaking heart but I chopped a tiny heart. I thought about everything . You loosed among others. You had to go and you did. I never thought that your loss was actually mine too. You were me and I was you. I let my heart loose over my head. I am standing alone heaven and heartless. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

I don't feel. the way I used to. It doesn't hurt much now. Even memories are fading away though they are not erased yet. The love within me still exist. It is wonderful that I have started not missing. I don't stuck information to my best interest. I have been recently scammed with my bank account. There is not much difference between scammers whether it's breaking bank account or heart account. They are nice, kind and take an advantages of your vulnerability. Being foolish is still my hobby. I am saving mankind and proving to be good human being. Meanwhile fake people are all over the place ready to attack. New year 2021 started with scammer alert. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

I am lost in maze. I have nothing much left. I feel intoxicated. High in drugs without any consumption. This is what actually is going on. It is not that easy to smile. The way you smile looks much more easier. I complain on my hormones and period cycle. I try not to think about you entire month. But there you are boom,  in my head by the end of the month. There comes my premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and lots of thoughts. It make me hang around feeling exhausted like a pendulum. My watch is no more going to clock you in. You are no more there in my time. Your world is somewhere far away,  thousand of miles from where I am. I wonder why do I miss you. I think about what are the possible  reasons. I come to conclusion that I miss us, not you. I miss my peace of mind. The way you make me feel comfortable and give me shoulder to lay my head and heavy heart. I miss your guidance and presence. XOXO