MY BETRAYAL

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I am sorry that I betray you and your love. I run from your love. I tried to love you but I could not lie. I was madly in love with someone else. I did my best to love you but I was not able to pretend it anymore. I am sorry for taking you for granted. I didn't want to waste your  time nor mine. I couldn't give you explanation which you deserve. I regret for pretending of loving you but I will never regret of leaving you. It would be worst decision to be with you physically but loving someone else madly. After my emotional break down, I was in need of shoulder to lie down. I need to suppressed my grief with achievement. I declared that you are my achievement. In reality, you were my substitution. You were my way of hiding my grief. I didn't want myself to be in pain. I thought pain of loosing love is recovered by achieving new love. But pain needs time to recover rather than anything. I was in disturbance. I was scared that loosing him will hurt me. It hurt me and it is still hurting me. I loose love of my life. My broken heart broke your's heart as well. I want to apologize for breaking your heart and your believe. I made a false statement of loving you. You were my friend, not the love. I didn't had that connection which I am looking for. I was in need of that understanding level where you could read my mind, heart and body. You were not my soulmate ; I was looking for. Sorry! I made you cry. Sorry! I made you beg for love. I was beggar myself and you wanted love from this broke. I hope you will find your love of life and I will do mine.  

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